What a week.

so this week has been crazy. It's 11:47 pm and Im still awake, Im at my aunts to be more specific. I wont be coming to school tomorrow until later, this week has been very hectic to say the least. For those of you who dont know my aunt passed away on Sunday, thats kind of why I've been a little depressing lately. I broke down in my first hour Monday but other than that I've been doing ok. Anyway this is a fast update since were doing stuff still to prepare for the memorial service on Friday so I wont be at school Friday either. Hope all is well with you guys and everyone had a good break and has a good weekend.

xo.

I knew I forgot to do something.

"14 LINES OF THE LAST 14 HOURS"

A Sonnet

I woke up at five o'clock in the morning.

Got ready and went to school.

Sat in class which was really boring.

Then went home which wasnt very cool.

I continued on with my day.

Then later went to bed.

I woke up at five to start my day.

Went to AP where I ran out of lead.

I failed my test.

Then failed the class.

This day is definatly not the best.

So here I sit in class.

Writing 14 lines of the last 14 hours.

And to think theres still how many hours?

wow. Its been a while.

Break has been so boring. The only day I have left my house to do anything was Monday and Tuesday. Over the weekend I didnt even get dressed thats how fed up I was with everyone. I want to leave this state and do something. Its a little late now. Hopefully the rest of the week will be good. I've got plans friday and saturday so HOPEFULLY I will be doing sometheing. Monday I lightened my hair, so its not black anymore but its nothing drastic. However, my hairstylist Rian wants me to go back to finish it. So apparently were not done. I wish my hair was long again. On a side note, Saturday I was pretty much having a heartattack during the wings game. I flipped out when Henrik got his first hattrick. My dad witnessed it and laughed for a while considering I almost fell off my couch and pillows were thrown, I screamed really loud. Pretty embarrising, at least it was just my dad. If my mom would have seen me I would have gotten in trouble. The post I deleted would explain why but, I kind of think maybe I should post it but Im just a little ehh about it. God shes really bothering me, she yelled at me yesterday about my henrik thing, if only she knew, so I purposly was screaming and yelling like a little 4 year old everytime he was on. She went in her bedroom and shut her door...Ive been listening to music I havent listened to in a long time. It makes me happy. I want to go buy new clothes really bad. I hate everything I wear. I hate my style a lot I dont know why. I need a car, since I need to buy stuff to finish my childrens story and I am yet to buy it since nobody can take 5 minutes out of their day. This is kind of putting me in a bad mood, its making me think of how much this break sucks. Hopefully spring break I will get to go to Chicago, Ive always wanted to go there but Ive never been. Over the summer Im going camping for the first time. Im scared Im going to die in the wilderness I hate the outdoors. I should be going to Boston too. I was suppose to go last summer but the wonderful right knee of mine said no thanks. My goo goo dolls concert is in 12 days Im excited. I didnt go to the Jack's Mannequin concert we didnt have money and an hour before the concert started my mom asked me why I didnt say anything because she was going to pay for me and my cousin to go. Yay. I love how she waits until an hour before it starts. So of course my cousin already had plans and since I was still in pissed off fest I needed to shower and what not. Anyway I hope everyone is having a better break than me. See you guys Monday.

So the snow day yesterday about saved my life. I woke up and turned on the t.v at 5:00 and was like oh my gosh this is not happening. I did none of my homework. It was an awakening for me I swear. So Im getting ready and Im like why is this happening to me this isnt fair. So im doing my make up Im already completely dressed and Im literally almost in tears and my mom comes in and tells me she turned the tv on while she was still in half sleep mode and said she thought she saw our schools. I ran out into the living room and I was like YESSS I jumped up in the middle of the living room and I was like never again will I ever to that. Anyway so I outlined and what not and finished everything. So I come to school today and I think we have block B because that makes the most sense leave all my AP stuff home and sure enough. I cannot win. So tonight I have another outline to finish and a take home test along with a packet worksheet thing and Im like how am I possibly going to finish this tomorrow. So Im definatly paying for it.
So later that night me and my lameness, watched the wings game and of course he wouldnt let me down. I got a phonecall from my dad and he was just like I should have known. Not to mention people always yell at me because when he gets hit Im always screaming watch the face and they are like hes a hockey player what do you excpect. Well now they know because his two front teeth are so messed up and hes getting them fixed I think he said Monday. I couldnt even look at him, it was terrible. I felt so bad but I just ehh.
On a better note, Saturday, hopefully, I will be attending the Jack's Mannequin concert. Im excited. I saw them when they opened up for Panic!at the disco in November and they were really good so I wanted to see them again. My blog is actually a lyric from one of their songs so, yeah. I started reading a new book about a week ago by JT LeRoy, the same author of a book I mentioned in the first post I ever posted, Its called Sarah, its not as intense as the other one and to be honest I kind of dont like it as much. I need ideas of a book to read after this one, even though I have a whole stack of books I havent read I recentaly feel the need to always go to borders and buy a new book. I've spent well over a hundred dollars on books in the past month or two. So I just reliezed as of like two seconds ago that I just told so my cousin I would go to the mall with her because she's picking me up, genius considering how much homework I said I have, I guess I can just do a little in the car or something and just stay up later. I kind of have a headache. I want to go to the eye doctors to get a new pair of glasses, my contacts are killing me, and I got a card saying I need to go. I want a pair of red glasses I think they would be adorable. Ive also been trying to write my sestina and Its not going well. This is a long blog and no one is probally going to read all of this and I probally wont ever read all of this either so Im just going to end it now.

<3

Happy Valentines day!

I'm having my own excitement in an anti valentines day extravaganza. I'm like 2 minutes away from watching bed of roses, the best movie ever, and indulge myself with chocolate and other junk for a while and then maybe go buy myself something at Kohls later.

anyway hope everyone has a good SNOW DAY and Valentines day.

<3

by the way.. tonight at 8:00 my love will be scoring me a goal to prove he loves me...hahah how lame am I. I love it.

Because it's on my mind.

Im sitting here my knee hurts like no other, like I can barely walk. I cant even think it hurts so bad. This is me not doing my AP homework once again hoping we have a snow day.

oh and my go home and do homework resulted in going to the mall and out to dinner until about 7. I need help

MY KNEE HURTS SO BAD!!!!

ouch. I wanna just go to the doctors but I cant because its to late. Maybe Emergency pshh they wont do anything when I dislocated it they had me walk out on it. Sometime I wonder how people become doctors.

ps. A snow day tomorrow would probally save my life, and American Idol is back on. bye.

Secrets

The last post I had helped get to much out of me. My god. I was seriously about to explode. The blog was a little personal so I eventually took it out but anyway. I guess things have been better since then. I talked to my friend and its better i guess you could say. I'm still going a little crazy because of the secret. I hate when people want me to keep secrets. Its so stressful. I'm not saying I cant keep them cause I can I'm good at that but this one was just crazy and I was in complete shock like I need someone to talk to about it but theres nobody. I guess you could say somewhere in my mind I thought that maybe there were signs but I don't know. She's by far one of my best friends so I could never let her down since she's never let me down I just I'm to young and to stressed out now to deal with this. OK on to something else cause I feel myself getting stressed again. I think you can tell since all of my grades are slipping. I'm doing so bad, worse is, is that I'm spending so much of my time trying to get a better grade in my AP history class that I haven't been doing my homework in my other classes because I have to outline a 20-25 page chapter a night which takes almost 2 1/2 hours and I didn't finish my outline for yesterday so I have like almost 2 full chapters to read by tomorrow. I have to figure out a way to get back on track. I was never like this. I'm starting to feel like maybe I should get a tutor or maybe start staying after for extra help but that's when my teenage laziness kicks in. I have no idea what to do. I want a snow day tomorrow so bad just so that I can have a day to get myself together and have everything done. I need to just motivate myself to go home and do my homework. Anyway we will see if that happens.

Snow Day if you can even call it that.

So lets see its 7:55 in the morning an d Im a little annoyed not going to lie. I woke up this morning to my dad asking me why I wasnt up and I look and its 6:30..Uhh a little late yes. It takes me around an hour to be ready. So I start getting ready dad goes to bed again and Im like running through my house trying to do my hair and make up and eat breakfast and get my bag together. Well then it occurs to me hmm I didnt finish my AP homework and thats my first hour. So my day is off WONDERFULLY. So I finally tell me dad Im ready and hes like ok start the truck and I have about 10 minutes to kill so I start my AP homework. It occurs to NO ONE to turn the T.V on and see if I have school. So Im in the car with my dad, Im in probally the worst mood ever I didnt say a single word the whole way there, and then we pull up to the school.. I threw my bag in a fit of rage on the floor and screamed you've got to be kidding me. So in short this is how my whole weekend has been since Friday...Im pretty sick of it already...

My weekend consisted on:
1.) The bears losing the super bowl ... I quit having hopes on football team (i.e notre dame let me down yet again this year)
2.) I've had the hardest time talking, my sentences just dont come out right
3.) my uncle tried to steal my brownie yesterday and me trying to save it had my hand smashed right into it. It was a mess.
4.) I fell in my aunts room yesterday trying to get away from my cousin.
5.) I dumped my entire hair and make up box so thanks to that my room is a disastor
6.) and finally today I over slept and then got really mad at my parents for no reason.

I think I'm going back to bed.